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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Let's talk underwear.


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There's no suitable image for this story. You really don't need to see my underwear or my rear end.

So not long ago, Craig went out to buy more underwear for himself. I asked him to pick me up a couple of pair while he was at it. I just wanted basic Bonds everyday sort of underwear. Bonds is the Australian equivalent of Hanes or Jockey. Nice simple cotton bikini underwear. He brought me home a two pack that was black with racing checkerboard detail. I needed a size 10 (that's about a US 6). I put them into my underwear rotation but I found they were always really uncomfortable when I put them on. I wanted to like them since Craig picked them up for me, but they were just a bit too tight and awkward. I liked the color. I liked the design. They just didn't fit.

I fretted for a bit that my rear end was rapidly escalating in size. Looking at the women in my family, it didn't surprise me. A cousin once remarked that I was destined to get "Ryan Thunder Thighs." However, it was totally disappointing to know that my rear was blooming into the size of a small elephant. I was gutted thinking that I may need to go up to 12s or maybe even 14s. Each time I put them on, I had that same pang of sadness. Had my other underwear really stretched so much that I hadn't noticed that my rear end was inflating like a balloon? At this rate, we might have lift off soon. It wasn't just sadness, I was downright bitchy on those days when I was wearing them. If you had strips of elastic cutting into your tush, you would be bitchy too.

Well today I was cleaning up and stumbled onto the original tags from the underwear. Size 10-12?! Egads! They were already bigger than I expected.

Then I looked more closely. The tag said 10-12 girls! As in 10-12 year olds. Craig had managed to pick up kids' sizes instead of women's. So many questions follow. Why was Craig shopping in the little girl's underwear department? Were people giving him dirty looks? Had someone put them in the wrong spot? And why did I continue to try to squeeze my ass into ill-fitting underwear for the last two months?

Does your spouse buy underwear for you? Do they get it right?

30 comments:

  1. oh goodness! That is too funny. No, he does not buy underwear for me, but I will send him for feminine products and he usually gets it right. But, no, never any kind of clothing.

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  2. That's pretty funny. My husband has tried to buy them for me too and they always end up in the back of the drawer for one reason or another.

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  3. ROFLMAO, excellent! Rather sorry I don't have an other half to send on an errand like that now...

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  4. So funny! Mine doesn't even buy underwear for him

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  5. my husband would rather die than by underwear for anyone in our family - much less me.

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  6. Horrors no! And I wouldn't ask him to because I'd be afraid of what I'd get - if he'd even do it! At least you liked what they looked like!

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  7. Oh that's too funny! And what a nice outcome - that you fit into kid's undies! I used to feel the same way when I'd get IDd long after I needed to be. I wouldn't ask my husband to buy undies for me, or any clothing actually because he would get it too small. He gets our daughter's clothing too small too. And so did my dad when I was young come to think of it...

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  8. that was an excellent story...heehee...i buy the underwear in the house, though it would be interesting to see what my husband picked out for me. ;)

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  9. Too funny. No my husband would never buy for me. Years ago, I managed a lingerie store, Victoria's Secret, and he wouldn't even come inside!

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  10. Haaaaaaaa ... Men, LOL, LOL ;)

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  11. It has been a moody evening around here but this sure picked me up. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. God that made me laugh. I don't even like buying new underwear for myself. So, I wouldn't let anyone buy them for me. Of course the style that I bought a couple years isn't being made anymore. I really loved them too. It was a bikini style with a scooped back. I have such a hard time buying underwear cause I have a short torso. So, even low rise bikinis are almost like buying briefs. Or the real kicker is buying the right size & they're still tight on me.

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  13. That is so funny. Thanks for the laugh :)

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  14. Haha - I don't think I would fit 10-12 girls underwear around my leg. Good going!

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  15. This is hilarious! I love it. Thanks for sharing it gave me a good laugh :)

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  16. Ha ha - DH's rarely gets anything right... But he's just a man so therefore excused ;) You on the other hand definately have done something right with the quilt you're making. To say I love it is an understatement. The colors are captivating.

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  17. Too funny! I would never let my husband buy undies for me. It would be a disaster! Once he went shopping for me for Christmas. I gave him a list of things I would like and my sizes in those things. We met for lunch that day and he was perplexed. I asked him what was wrong and he asked me if I had my sizes right and proceeded to tell me that they don't make clothes in the sizes I gave him. I asked him where he was shopping and he said Lane something (it was Lane Bryant specializing in plus sizes) and they had nothing in these sizes.(Back then, I was an 8.) I just started to laugh and told him to try some other stores. After that experience, he either lets my daughter do the shopping or I circle specific things in catalogs!

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  18. Funny funny! I am blessed with a size 10 generous booty, decent knicks that aren't half way up the bum are hard to find, you must have thought you were going nuts though!

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  19. This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages! The hubs and I don't buy each other clothes - neither of us enjoys clothes shopping so why make it worse by shopping for someone else? Although I did buy him a tshirt online once, and it was a really bad idea. He was a huge fan of Arrested Development and I got him a shirt with Tobias' business card on it. The shirt fit fine, but really, who's going to wear a shirt that says "analrapist" on it?

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  20. Hilarious! You are so funny! Husband does buy me underwear sometimes, some of it is wearable and some of it not so much..Although I do hate when you buy those packs of undies and they never seem to fit the same as the last time you bought the exact same ones. What's with that?

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  21. Oh, thanks for this. So many questions indeed...

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  22. What a great post! That's just too funny! No way I'd trust him to buy my underwear! Lol

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  23. ha! if this is any indication of your ability to persevere, then you should be in good shape (pun intended). my husband bought underwear for me only once. it was after our son was born, and the three pairs were all lacy thongs from the juniors department. never again...

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  24. Oh that is so funny! My hubs has never bought me undies...he quit buying me clothes before we ever got married! Yesterday my sis and I were talking about Pinterest...and how I want to avoid getting a "Pinterest Butt" from spending too much time in my chair browsing Flickr and Pinterest!

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  25. I am enamored of the quilt blocks at the top of this post! Great color choices! I can't determine the name of the block however. Any insight would be welcome. In any case, I love these WIPs, and I've pinned them to my "Quilty Goodness" board on Pinterest (with proper credit, of course!). Feel free to follow me if you'd like: http://pinterest.com/lipglass/quilty-goodness/

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You are a rockstar! Thanks so much for your comments!