drowning in iced coffee in shin-yurigaoka

Let me preface this story by staying that I don't actually like iced coffee...


Last Sunday, I turned 37. I am noticably touchy about it. Downright grumpy in fact. For reasons all too personal, I loathe turning 37. I thought a whirlwind trip to Japan on my birthday would pick me up on the actual day. It didn't seem to be in the cards though.

The day started dreary and overcast. It was a tragic day for sightseeing and an ark would have been in order given the amount of rain falling. So I decided to travel an hour or so out of Tokyo by train to visit some of my favourite fabric haunts.

It all turned pear-shaped when the train stopped rolling marginally into our journey. We sat on the tracks for twenty minutes and then slowly rolled again to the next station but the doors didn't open. It was supposed to be a rapid train and I've taken the route before so I knew this was uncharacteristic of the journey. This snail's pace continued until we finally stopped at the world's tiniest station two hours later and they opened the doors with an announcement in Japanese. There was an audible gasp from my fellow journeymen, but I had no idea what was going on. Some people filed out of the train. Some people sat still. I was wholly confused.

I didn't bring a book or any entertainment with me as I planned to sleep on the journey which is standard practice on all Japanese trains. In fact, even if you aren't tired; if you obtain a seat, you should pretend to sleep in it. It will help you blend in with the locals. A little drool coming from your lips adds to the realism. Already two hours into the journey, I had no more drool to give and my lids wouldn't feign sleepiness any longer.

So there I am, not sleeping, not reading and not sure what is going on.

Eigo? Eigo? Does anyone here speak English? No one did. So for a good 30 minutes, we played an active game of charades as I tried to guess the problem and how long it would be. Eventually everyone reboarded and the train continued it's snail's pace crawl and stop motion. Another announcement and another audible gasp.

Finally they found a small girl of about 8 who was a few cars down. She vaguely spoke English. It was substantially better than my Japanese. "Train Train broke." [insert hand motion of two fists colliding]. "Lights no." "Train train broke." "Kore broke?" I asked cobbling the Japanese word for this with the faint English she knew. "No No" [insert arm motion in an X which means no in Japanese] Apparently a crash ahead meant the lights were out. What a tragic way to spend a birthday, I thought. I'm stranded on a commuter train in outer Tokyo. I asked how she learned English to which she replied "Saayyy-saaaa-MEEEE sttreeet". God bless Kermit.

Three hours in the journey we rolled into another small station. They shuffled us to a different train. We continued two stops and then were shuffled once again. Eventually I got to a fabric store but I was no where near where I expected. I was fortunate to recognize the town name as one containing a small patchwork chain store that I visited earlier in the week.

Grumpy and hungry, I vowed to have a big full meal for my birthday and decided I'd choose the nicest most expensive looking cafe in the area to eat. I found a place decked out in wood. I waited my turn and took my seat.

I was handed a menu with no pictures and no traces of English. In Tokyo, ordering is always easy because there's plenty of pictures. Here, I was a bit stuck.


I puzzled over it for quite some time and then the waitress came rotated it 90 degrees, put it back in my hands and walked away. Doh! I looked around noticed everyone had enormous bowls, vats, jars and tanks of liquid but food was scarce. I'd landed myself in the middle of a cold coffee house, it seemed.

I ordered by asking her favourite and she informed me she doesn't drink anything there. By now, I'd become quite familiar with the arms-crossed X symbol for no in Japan. So I randomly pointed at a girl who had on a cat outfit (more on that later), and said I'd have what she's having.

For one? the waitress asked. Yes, please bring a drink for one.


What she brought me was an iced coffee float. That's two full scoops of ice cream with whipped cream, a cherry and a Pocky stick floating on a vat of iced coffee. There's enough coffee in there to dry drown, if you aren't bouncing off the walls first. And this was the smallest size... I looked around and realized some people had semi-large goldfish tank sized drinks. They had iced coffee, iced tea and a sickly green liquid which I surmised was cream soda.

It was enormous. From the top, you don't get a sense of scale but look at the size of my thumb and a 100yen coin (about an AU twenty center piece or US quarter) in this photo. I think my vat of iced coffee was 10" in diameter.


Not knowing that I was going to be consuming a year's supply of caffeine in a single sitting. I also ordered a piece of cake for my birthday. It came with a random brown jello substance that was absolutely flavourless. It was like eating nothing but it had texture at the same time.


The cake was yummy. I managed nearly 3/4s of the iced coffee. And my 37th birthday was happy and memorable after all.

If you find yourself in Shin-Yurigaoka. Go to OPY and look for the OB Cafe for your own vat of iced coffee.